It’s a Nice Day for an Off-White Wedding…

Tuesday: Prada seahorse thongs

How is it that of all the recent prominent celeb couplings and spawnings — Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster, Heidi Klum and Seal, Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams, and now Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner — Britney Spears is the one who actually did the traditional thing and waited till after she got married to get knocked up?

Now it’s not that I’m a prude. What I’m really concerned about are the fashion logistics of the shotgun wedding. Simply because of aesthetic reasons, the bride must find herself limited: Empire waists, good; slinky Vera Wangs, bad. Full skirts — probably not a good idea. For traditionalists, white is out of the question. Swollen ankles means no lace-up Manolos… or ankle straps… or T straps for that matter. As for the new fuller bosom — well, you wouldn’t want to show too much cleavage at your wedding, now would you?

Do your wedding colors become baby blue and pink? Do you serve pickles and ice cream at the reception? Do you register at Buy Buy Baby instead of Bed Bath and Beyond? And you can forget about a destination wedding in the third trimester.

On course, this just means there’s a new niche market. Move over, the Second-Time Bride, and the Older Bride. Here comes… the Mommy Bride!

This entry was posted on Friday, July 1st, 2005 at 8:57 am and is filed under Fashion, Pop Culture, Miscellany. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.