Wednesday: gold snakeskin Gucci thongs

When I was a child, my mom would make my sisters and me matching clothes. Sometimes we were lucky enough to get different colors (I got yellow to my sisters’ red and blue) but our outfits always shared the same style or at least the same theme (e.g. pinstriped velvet overalls — they got skirts, I got pants).

Fast forward 20 years and it shouldn’t take a shrink to explain why my greatest fashion fear is to be seen in the same outfit as someone else. Sure, everyone thinks that it’s an embarrassing faux pas to be someone’s twin — whether it’s at work, where you’ve got to try to avoid crossing paths with the person for a whole day, or at a big, public event like a wedding (I suppose being in a matching dress as a bridesmaid is an agony in and of itself, but as a guest it’s particularly bad). But even a pair of shoes — in a different color — or a piece of jewelry could send me into a tizzy. So short of going home to change, or always having a whole backup outfit in the office in case of an emergency, there are a few things to keep in mind in order to minimize the chances of designer doppelgangery.

Monday: Prada geometric print flats

It’s Labor Day, which means that the only work that will be required of me today is to get my fall wardrobe in order. After all, Halloween decorations and candy have been in stores for a week already. I’m behind!

Well, I should be able to take care of a lot of it at the Lainey trunk sale this Wednesday — or at least I might take care of a lot of my budget, and heaven knows I’ve actually already returned some items to make room for these future purchases. There’s nothing in particular I have in mind — there never is — and that’s part of the fun. I can’t wait to see what will be there! I’m beside myself with excitement…

Otherwise, there are a few must-haves on my list.

M Missoni Cowl Neck Sweater: Can’t wait till there’s a morning chill that would require me to wear something covering my neck like this.

Prada acorn pumps: Those acorns are too cute — even though acorns remind me of a traumatic reading experience I had as a child. Anyone who has read Miss Hickory will know what I’m talking about. A hickory nut for a head, a stalking squirrel, the horror…

Prada Sport nylon trench: Olive’s definitely one of my favorite colors for this fall.

Catherine Malandrino blouse: Not your basic blouse. And you can never have enough white/black/ivory tops.

And finally… Remember what I said about Louis Vuitton bags all having something just quite not right about them?

Well, I take it back. I am in total lust with the quilted, embossed bag that is in one of the Uma Thurman ads… and yes, that would be the one with the crocodile trim.

The price tag? Well, I’ve been a little afraid to ask — you know, if you have to ask, you can’t afford it… A braver soul who enquired tells me that they start at around $3,000 and go up to $8,000, depending on how much croc’s on it. Good heavens, what if I had to choose between the Lainey and the Louis? The mind reels…

Friday: brown Louboutin slingbacks

In the September issue of Allure there’s a “Beauty by the Numbers” piece on a subject near and dear to all our hearts: shoes. I’m not exactly sure who came up with the stats in the article — what fact-checkers vetted these surely scientific conclusions — but they do merit some consideration: