The Slingbacks and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune
Today, I purchased my third pair of slingbacks — of this season.
(You know what I said about not buying anything else for myself while I Christmas shop? Yeah, well, forget that.)
There’s just something about a slingback that I can’t resist. It’s less stodgy than a pump, but more formal than strappy sandals. It’s like the mullet of shoes — business in the front, party in the back!
In any case, first there was the black Guccissima pair from Saks.
Then came the chocolate Valentinos with the mink/crocodile flower (to be honest, from the same trip to Saks).
And now there’s this pair of Bottega Veneta woven dark brown kiltie slings from Bergdorf’s.
As I sat here admiring my beautiful new slingbacks, I started to think: If only I had bought the Valentinos in camel instead… then I wouldn’t suddenly have two pairs of dark brown slingbacks with a 2″ heel. Though, I suppose, they are pretty different. And it’s not too late — the camel ones are on sale at Neiman’s, and my sister might want my brown ones, so maybe I should go ahead and order the camel ones… But wait, I already have those 3″ camel-and-brown Manolo slingbacks… Oh god, I think my head is going to explode.
Now this isn’t even taking into account the four pairs of black Prada slingbacks I already had before this season: the 2 1/2″ heels with the gold toggle; the 2″ heels with the detachable rosebuds; the wingtips with the low heels; the crocs with the 4″ heels. Oh yeah, and there was that pair of Marc Jacobs mouse slingbacks, which I wore to death fall/winter ‘98-’99 — I had to get them resoled and reheeled multiple times — but still keep in my closet because they are just so darn cute. (I certainly don’t dare wear them out — so fragile.) And then there’s the ponyskin Bottega slings… the brown Louboutin slings… the cream Louboutin slings… the gray snakeskin Prada slings… the mauve Prada slings…
So apparently, it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that sling. (Sorry, couldn’t resist!)
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November 30th, 2005 16:47
How on earth do you get your slingbacks to stay on your feet? I keep buying them, and they consistently slide right off my heels every ten steps or so. Prada, Louboutin, it matters not. Perhaps I am just not built for it. Phooey.
November 30th, 2005 17:39
Saved! Those Camel Valentinos don’t come in my size!! (9.5)
November 30th, 2005 17:58
If only I were as lucky… I ended up ordering them in 36!
December 1st, 2005 00:32
You don’t even know the trouble you got me into… First, it was a Lainey cardi at Brown’s in London. Then it was two pairs of Manolos and two pairs of Pradas on eBay, not counting Tod’s python loafers. Now, I just had to get the Valentinos. I scoured all of NY for the chocolate flats, and I couldn’t find them at Bergdorf, Saks, or the Valentino boutique, so I has to get the slingbacks. I really should stop reading your blog, I’m bad enough on my own!
December 1st, 2005 00:49
Wow, Julia, I feel so proud!
I have this theory that by sharing our shopping confessions in this forum, the guilt becomes communal and thus infinitesimal… I’m gonna call it Alex’s Law of Asymptotic Guilt!
As for Liz’s question, are you wearing open toe slings or closed toe? Closed toe keeps ‘em in more snug. I have this pair of open-toe Louboutins with a slipping strap — I ended up stepping on the straps and completely wearing them down. And even when I shortened the strap it still slipped. Drove me crazy!
December 1st, 2005 11:27
Ah Alex, you are indeed wise. All of my slingbacks are open toe! I guess now I need to go shopping to test this theory.