That Doesn’t Count!
For some reason– oh, I can’t imagine why — I’ve been asked a lot recently how many pairs of shoes I own.
I hem, I haw. I say things like, “I’m not going to tell you!!!!” I change the subject.
In truth… um… er… I don’t count. And no, I don’t mean that I can’t count that high! I mean I won’t count. It’s one of those things — like defense lawyers who never ask their clients if they dunnit. Deniability, that’s what it’s all about.
I could guesstimate, I suppose, and if absolutely pressed to divulge some sort of number, I’d have to say… well, it’d round up to 100. More than 50 (yeah, okay, even if I don’t count I have to admit that it’s definitely well over 50) but fewer than 100. I figure if I make regular donations to Goodwill and maintain what feels like a number below three digits, I can’t possibly be completely out of control. (And as long as my apartment doesn’t look like I’m one of those hoarders who die and then no one can find their bodies amidst all the… stuff. Even if it means I keep having to buy more armoires.)
Am I being disingenuous? I am, after all, someone who posts the shoes I’m wearing on each entry. But it’s the honest truth. And for a very simple reason: It’s the only way I can keep my conscience clear… to buy more shoes!
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January 20th, 2006 22:21
I’ve never really counted my shoes, but I came close to it. I ordered clear shoe boxes, which come in sets of 10. The first time I got 13 boxes - 3 were freebies. I liked them, so I ordered 20 more. Because they had problems with shipping in a reasonable period of time, they finally sent 30 - 10 freebies. Do the math, it’s at least 43 boxes, and I’m still way short…
January 31st, 2006 19:28
Awww that’s nothin’. That’s the number I have laying on the floor of my closet because they won’t fit into the cubby holes. Of course mine aren’t all couture.
Aren’t shoes wonderful?
:O)
February 13th, 2007 17:17
Where di you get the slingbacks from?
They must feel great on barefoot!
February 14th, 2007 02:44
Got them at Saks… but a few seasons ago. I think they still make ‘em though.