Say Ahhhhh
After the past few months I’ve had, I’ve decided that what I need most (other than winning the lottery and finding the perfect metallic heels, of course — and not even necessarily in that order) is a spa day. I need it all: massage, facial, salt scrub, sauna, mani-pedi… Forget these skimpy three-hour packages; when I say spa day, I mean day!
Hard to believe, but when I was little, and my grandma told me she went to get a manicure every week, I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just do it herself. (Can you believe those thoughts ever inhabited my brain?) But as I got older and started having to take responsibility for things like chores, I began to appreciate the necessity of having things done for and to you for a change — to be completely passive and fully pampered.
So I’ve been to a zillion different spas, from speedy ones like Simply Spa (where you can get a facial, massage and mani in 60 minutes flat — which kinda defeats the whole relaxation thing but hey, we’re nuts here in New York City) to posh hotel spas. One of my favorites was in Bordeaux: Les Sources de Caudalie, a vinotherapy spa and hotel located on a vineyard in France. So there was great wine at dinner — and in the treatment room. When you’re spending your days with wine and honey wraps, crushed Cabernet scrubs and barrel baths, how could you go wrong?
Well, there was this one thing — most likely a really European thing. The “water jet shower” made me feel like I was starring in Reform School Girls 2. You stand there naked under a shower and a middle-aged Eastern European woman aims a spring-water hose at you. I felt uncomfortable because (1) it was uncomfortable, but worse, (2) I realized I was so prudishly American in my discomfort. So discomfort and angst — not exactly relaxing. In the pantheon of spa humiliation, the whole scenario’s gotta be up there with snoring during a facial!
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April 7th, 2006 12:15
this reminds me of my most humiliating spa experience a few weeks ago. my friends and i went to the juvenex spa in new york city for a bachelorette party. i was told to bring a bathing suit, but i had already left for my trip home to nyc so that wasn’t an option. well i thought it would be a pleasant bonding experience filled with facials and massages…i would be incredibly, extremely wrong. we had to sit in hot tubs together AFTER being sweating in saunas and steam rooms. then we were told to strip and lay naked on these massage beds situated next to each other. if we were feeling prudish, we were allowed to keep the underwear on. then the spa workers proceeded to scrub us down and douse us with buckets of lukewarm water. that was awful enough, but we were trying to pretend that it wasn’t incredibly awkward so we tried to converse with each other as if we were fully clothed sitting in a cafe or something…we MIGHT have been able to succeed but the spa workers thought it would be nice for us to hear how “so sexy” we were. seriously the WORST spa experience ever.
April 7th, 2006 18:36
OMG!! I have totally snored in the middle of a facial…and a massage…and a pedicure (during the foot massage part).
I guess I have this relaxation thing down to a science…
After reading your post, I am DYING to experience a Cabernet scrub! That sounds like heaven!
April 8th, 2006 01:24
Julie, your experience reminds me of another spa experience at La Costa near San Diego — all I remember (I was traumatized) is seeing lots of overweight ladies letting it all hang out in the hot tub. And no I did not join them! Strangers are one thing, though — friends quite another! You may know everything about their heart and soul but do you really need to know every inch of their bodies???
JayKay- the worst part is when you snort yourself awake and have to play it cool and pretend you were never snoring at all but just resting quietly.